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Thursday, February 18, 2010

Christian Community and the Ministry of Listening

When it comes to building a relational culture, one of the manifestations I pray for our church is that we be a people skilled and practiced in the ‘ministry of listening’.


The phrase 'ministry of listening'  comes from Dietrich Bonheoffer’s book Life Together (Harper & Row, 1954). Bonheoffer was a Lutheran pastor and theologian. His insights into Christian community are inextricably linked to the years he spent leading an underground seminary while living in community with his students. For his participation in a resistance plot to assassinate Hitler he was arrested, incarcerated, and hanged at Flossenbürg concentration camp on April 9, 1945 shortly before the end of WW II.

When we think about Christian communication, we usually site biblical texts regarding our speech. Of course we always need God to grant us grace in how we talk to others: “Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt…” Colossians 4:6. Even this relates to listening, because our desire in speaking is that we would be heard and understood. 

In every setting, there are dozens of things to hear. So at any given moment, we 'tune out' most of what we hear. And for the most part, that is good —lest every auditory vibration distract us.  Yet, that's the problem. Bonhoeffer comments, 

“Brotherly pastoral care is essentially distinguished from preaching by the fact that, added to the task of speaking the Word, there is the obligation of listening. There is a kind of listening with half an ear that presumes already to know what the other person has to say. It is an impatient, inattentive listening, that despises the brother and is only waiting for a chance to speak and thus get rid of the other person. (98)

Too often, we 'tune out' the very people we need to love with our listening ears. Too often we forget that there is is an inseparable connection between listening and love. Think about it. When others listen to you, you interpret it as a form of love. However, when you are not listened to, you interpret it as not being loved.  We know that when friends, or spouses do not listen to one another, love is strained and conflict is inevitable. This is true in every relationship.

Two of the many texts calling for us to be better listeners are Luke 6:31 and James 1:19.

Listen to others as you wish that they would listen to you. “The Golden Rule” applies to listening: “And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them” (Luke 6:31). We all want others to love us enough to listen to us, and we are called to listen to others accordingly.

Be quick to hear. James 1:19 plainly points out one of the manifestations of the new birth is the quickness of our ears and the slowness of our tongues and our anger: “…let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger….” 

May God grant us grace to listen to one another, in love, for the glory of God.